well...

So my life has been alright but i feel like im in a colourless state. I try to do the things that "respondsible" people do .. whatever that means and it just doesnt work for me. When you get told something so many times you start to believe it and then you just become it. I'm not lazy and i refuse to believe that but when people say things to me or towards me it always does more damage then what they think because most of the time they think if they say something it'll be helpful but they do more harm then good. I have become disinterested in so many things i loved and i hate myself for it. I'm learning that its become more difficult to be who i am without someone stating the damn obvious and im tired of people asking me things about why i havent done this or that. I dont ask them why they havent done improtant things so leave me alone about it. I cant fit into everyones mold of what im "supposed" to do now, i have no timeline and i think differently then most people and i guess some just cant grasp that concept. *sighs* im done with this rant its good i can post what i think somewhere even if it doesnt make sense to others it doesnt have to, it just makes sense to me.



Iron and Wine -Grey Stables
from Woman King album

flipsides

So theses are like ridiculous! One side is a craker the other sideis a pretzle one of the weirdest things ever. The deal is i had one and it was like so weird and strange i think i like them! It's something different and my taste buds are confused but i cant help but want more. They need to stop coming up with things like this!
That is all for today, i just had to share this new found snack!






Today's album choice:

this is what i do..

I had this crazy mixed up dream last night, i woke up completely indifferent about a lot of things. I'm ready to leave and explore other cities and live in a different place and call it my home. Being an artsy kind of person, I dont think we're meant to settle in one place for the rest of our lives. I think we're pretty much supposed to explore everything around us and find new things to inspire us. Oh, city of Cypress, little suburbia you have been so kind to me but I think I may need to leave here soon.

ah, yes.

I found this and realized that I do the exact same thing most of the time I dont even know I do it. I think its the fear that if the one time I dont check something really bad will happen. Maybe I've seen too many movies, maybe not but I wont risk it. I'll always check.


Whats a Girl to Do



this song seemed appropriate

just livin.. seems to be all im doing.

So this week so far has been great, yesterday was two and half years with the love of my life! It's quite exciting I must say. YaY for having the best boyfriend ever!

On a more reserved note, I suppose everything in my life is as it should be, though I think i need to make a few changes and get serious with my future and who I am and what it is exactly I want to do with the rest of my life. I dont like the future, it scares me and failure and rejection is what I fear the most which is why I dont try and go after the things I want the most. This isnt just with a few things but with a lot of things in my life. *sighs* oh well. ha.

In other news I will NOT be going to Austin to see Jesse Lacey of Brand New or Kevin Devine on Saturday and I am completely bummed out to the max. :[

Listening to : Okkervil River
good stuff.

The dead leaves, they are alive

Last weekend my cousin died at the young age of 29, he had a heart attack. On wednseday and thursday my whole family was in Dallas for his funeral and seeing all of my family for the first time in months it just felt different this time. I was never close to my cousin, he lived in Dallas his whole life and the last time I saw him I was probably younger then my little sister and I cant even remember him. I went to his funeral and I didnt dare go and look at him (the most i saw was his hands) instead I just looked at his picture and realized that that's how I want to know and remember him, that sideways half smile and eyebrow raise. It is quite sad how someone can be your family yet you dont even know them or knowwho they are, what their dislikes were, what they loved, or even who their family is. I was sadden to see that he had a young daughter no older then 7 and seeing her sad was just so difficult, seeing his mother cry was heartbreaking. Reality hit though and I know that everyone who was there realized that life is too short to waste away, too short to waste time being angry... too short to hold grudges or miss out on precious time with the ones who love you most. My entire family came to that realization this week and its so good to know that everyone is on the same page now, everyone is willing to put in some effort and become a family once again, let the past go and forgive eachother for all the things that may have been done to eachother. Yes, it's sad that it took the death of my cousin for everyone to realize this but out of this we grew closer and possibly stronger, only time will tell though and hopefully every word that was said was meant whole heartedly.

R.I.P
Sadi Dominguez

First Post

I was going to write a long post about telling about my life and more random stuff about my life but i figured since i'll be writing in this often the more you read the more you'll be able to figure more and more about my life. Some simple facts though so youre not completely in the dark. I am the middle child of three sisters the oldest is 25 the youngest is 9 so we are spread out pretty well in age. My older sister is the more serious and has her ducks in a row in life, I'm the fun-loving artistic free child, and my little sister is growing up to be a spilt image of both of us. My parents have been happily married for 26 years and going strong, my dad is awesome and he has a blue collar job and my mom works in insurance stuff. I have this amazing boyfriend who is just so loving and so awesome im so blessed that i have him my life. Music is the main thing that brought him and i together and if it wasnt for that we would have never have starting talking in the first place, so music is a huge part of my life and if you often see music videos or a song title with a picture of the album cover its just letting you know what im curretnly jamming to.
My life is a very simple one and i often complain at its simplicity, surely there is more to life then this but i know everything comes with time. For now i pass my time with taking pictures and hanging with my friends, gosh i havent even touched based on them. My friends (the few i have) are these awesome people who in some way or another have contributed to my life in a postive way, i wouldnt take it any other way. I have pushed away those who have left a bad taste in my mouth or have brought negative enegry to me, how can one live a positive life style when being constantly surrounded by those who lead lives that are so negative. I have made a lot of choices in my life to better who i am as a person so i leave you with this question...
Are the choices that you make in life stand long term or do you find yourself in the same place as you were in in the beginning?
No i dont expect the answer but really think about it.


currently listening to: KaiserCartel - "Oh No"